I have officially been off of work for almost a week and a half. In that time I have been to Baytown, Memorial, The Woodlands, back home, out the The Ranch, downtown Austin and back home again. This time off has re-affirmed something I mostly already knew. I am officially the WORST housewife ever. Lucky for me, The Husband knows this as well and his expectations for me to be a stay at home wife or mom were squashed about week one in our relationship. Just in case you don't know me that well I will provide you with several examples from my week-and-a-half long stint as a housewife.
First, I hate unnecessary showers. I do not like to wash and dry my hair and although I do like to be clean, I do not like the process of getting clean. Lucky for me The Husband was out at The Ranch a few days before I got there so I had several days alone where I didn't change out of my PJs and waited till the afternoon to brush my teeth. Gross, I know. But come on haven't you done that before?
Second, I attempted to make us homemade hot cocoa one night. And my homemade I mean I worked hard and used my money to purchase a mix from Starbucks. The mix called for hot milk and being the domestic goddess that I am I decided to use my shiny red tea kettle to heat the milk. Not a good idea. Who knew that it would get hot and bubble up inside the kettle, causing it to EXPLODE out the little pour spout and shoot fire hot milk all over the kitchen. Luckily the milk spilled into the burner and put out the fire that errupted from under the kettle. Strike 2 for me.
Lastly, I attempted to make pancakes this morning for all of our friends at The Ranch (yes, the party lasted well past New Years Eve) using a giant electric skillet. I perfectly poured 8 medium pancakes onto the griddle and when it was time to flip was dismayed to find that they were COMPLETELY stuck to the griddle. Who knew I needed to spray it first? I was trying to be healthy (after all, New Year diet started today) and I thought the black coating meant it was non-stick. Disaster.
As you may be able to tell, I spent most of my time at The Ranch reading "Bitter Is The New Black" with subtitles including "Why you should not carry a Prada bag to the unemployment office" so I now thick I am a super funny chic-lit writer.
On a not so happy note, after 3 days in the middle of the woods with very little iPhone service I was super excited to return home to my precious Internet. I missed my friends at Dlisted, Ebay, the consignment site I constantly troll for designer bags and last but not least, Blogger and Craigslist. I ran some much needed Windows updates while I was out of town and THEY MUST HAVE CRASHED MY COMPUTER. It is completely worthless and I am stuck blogging on The Husband's 6 year old work laptop in our rock-fortress of a house that gets horrible Wi-Fi connections. So, my massive plans to blog and get caught up are ruined and I am going to have to take the computer somewhere to get it fixed. UGH. Hopefully it is ok and I can return to my Internet shortly. Until then I will be answering emails on my phone so please be patient!
Happy New Year!
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