Friday, October 4, 2013

Happiness = Expectations <-> Reality

Happiness = Expectations <-> Reality

I read a really great article this week on Huff Post about Gen Y and why we are sometimes unhappy.  And I read a few posts from big bloggers this week about their happiness, and being unhappy, and trying to work on said unhappiness.  And all this really got me thinking.

Without going into too much detail or getting all mushy, I will just throw it out there that there have been times in my past where I have struggled with my own happiness.  I didn't love high school, struggled to find my place to fit in.  College was MUCH better, but I did have a somewhat unstable relationship that looking back wasn't the greatest.  I always went through periods of unexplained sadness.

When we did our pre-marital counseling with the church, the lady warned us about post partum depression and my history that would put me at a higher risk.  Luckily, that did not happen, save for a few crying sessions after H was born - one in the parking lot of the outlet mall when I couldn't seem to fold up my $900 stroller and was totally in tears.

Anyway, I realize that I have a totally blessed life.  We both have good jobs, Hadley was an amazing baby and a super smart, funny toddler.  We have a loving supportive family, and I have a kind, caring (in his own way) husband that totally shares parenting 50/50 with me.

Suffice to say, I am more happy in my life now that I ever thought was possible for me.  Like stupid happy.  To the point where I sometimes worry something bad is going to happen to me/us b/c really things couldn't be this great.

So the Huff Post article that included the intro Happiness = Expectations <-> Reality really resonated with me.  My expectations for happiness were never that high, I had HOPES but not high expectations.  So my reality is great, and my happiness level is high.

I think part of my current happiness comes from a variety of factors.  But as a working mom, I know I can't do it all, so I focus my attention on work and family.  I don't care if H isn't the best dressed kid.  I don't bake shit from scratch.  And her birthday is in 2 weeks and I haven't really planned anything because it is dependant on a football game whose time is yet TBD.

But you know what does matter?  That she runs to me and hugs me when I get home.  That we get down on the floor and play blocks.  That I don't really know what is going on with any TV shows b/c I don't watch them.  I hang out with my little family, clean up, and go to sleep so I can get up and do it all again the next day.  Yes, my commute blows.  And I sometimes get so frustrated that I want to ram my car into the car in front of me.  But there are people dealing with way bigger problems than me, and I am just grateful to have a good job and people that love me.

So I don't really know what the point of my rambling is, other than you should read the article, be happy with what you have, and cherish every moment.


Kelly@ColorSizzle said...

Hi Kimberly,

I stumbled across your blog and read this post. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. The journey for happiness is never-ending, but each day I make a conscious effort to rely on God...and some days that is all you can do. Enjoy your daughter because she will grow up fast. My oldest son is a freshman in college and it seems like yesterday we were potty training him. At 46, I still struggle to 'find my place to fit in.' But I think some people are that way because they strive to be individuals who don't conform with what everyone else is doing...and that's a good thing! And you are right -- your joy lies in the circle of love that surrounds you, even if that circle is imperfect or small. All the best! ~Kelly

Kim D said...

Well said Kim!!! 100% right there with you and have often felt the same way! Thanks for sharing! Nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way!