Monday, May 21, 2012

Mom Who Works, Not a Working Mom

I am currently writing this post at 7:30 on a Friday night.  From my office.  At work.  Yep, I am still here.  You may wonder why I am writing a future blog post to publish instead of going home.  Well, I'm working.  Waiting for some programs to run on a computer, so I can run some more programs.  So I can do some more work.  For a project that should take 2 days but needs to be finished in 8 hours instead.

It is not my most stellar mom moment.  The Husband is at home taking care of H solo, and she isn't feeling well.  Which is totally adding to my sadness about not being at home.

The idea for this post came to my weeks ago, and it is slightly ironic that I am writing about it at this moment, when work seems to be taking priority over my baby girl.  But, that is the life of a Mom that works, right?

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People: "Oh, you are going back to work FULL TIME?"
Me: "Yes, my job is not a part-time-kind-of-job."

People: "Who takes care of the baby?"
Me: "She goes to a school in our neighborhood."
What I really want to say: "The family member of ours that magically moved here since none of them live close." or the dreaded word "DAYCARE!"

Working mom vs stay at home mom is one of the biggest decisions you will have to make when having a baby.  For some of you it 's easy, you have always wanted to stay home.  Or, your job does not pay that well, so to pay for childcare makes it barely worth working.  Or your husband makes enough money for you to stay home and you both think it is the right thing to do.

For me, it wasn't that easy.  Sure, The Husband has a good job.  And I probably could stay home if I wanted to.  But here is the thing.  I don't really want to.  There, I said it.

I love my baby girl with all my heart, she is so sweet and I love to see her learn things and explore new things everyday.  But I am just not the stay at home type.  I have a really good job, that I like 95% of the time, and it pays well.  I am good at my job and I like what I do.  I like being intellectually challenged everyday.  I like trying to solve complex problems, and I even like dressing up in heels everyday.  Stay-at-home Kim would go nuts and never get out of her PJs.  And only brush her teeth because she knew The Husband was coming home from work and probably should.

So for now, working works for me.  The Husband supports my decision, even though it probably isn't what he had in mind for his wife.  And it is hard being a Mom that works.  I get up at 5:15 every morning so I can get myself all ready before I wake her up.  I only spend about 45 minutes each morning with her before I take her to school.  And I only get about 2 or 2 and a half hours at night before she falls asleep.  But I cherish those weekday hours, and all my weekend time with her.  All of our time together is quality time, and I am so grateful for it that even waking up in the middle of the night with her is not bad.  Its just more time we get to spend together.

I know a few stay at home moms that are frazzled.  They run out of patience, and wish they had more positive time with their kids.  I am not saying that is how all of them are, but I know myself and I know what is good for me.  And a happy Mom means a happy baby.  So for now, I am a Mom that works.  Not a working Mom.


Kiri said...

Well done for knowing what you want. I think working or staying at home should be up to the mum.

Jessie said...

I think if this works for you, it's better then. I plan to be a stay at home mom, but I think working part-time would help me out. It would be nice to have that "adult" time outside of the house. It's rare that you even have a job that you can say you like 95% of the time, not to many people can say that! I totally get your point of view. :) Thanks for sharing.

Sarah said...

Well said Kim!

I love that people have options and there is no perfect way to be a parent. There are many of wonderful combinations that can work!

There is guilt or negatives or struggles to which ever path you choose. It just comes with the new life-long role of parenting. You seem to always second guess yourself with the many decisions that come with being a Mom.

Congrats on having a fantastic job! That will make you a better parent! And think of the great female role model your daughter will have.

Okay..not sure why I felt necessary to write a novel. This topic (and breastfeeding) strike major nerves in my body. Ha!

Becky @ Petals Lace and Pearls said...

good for you! You and only you know whats best for you and your family=)