Wednesday, December 21, 2011

You Know You Are A New Mom When....

- you can't remember the last time you wore pants with a button - good thing leggings and tall boots are somewhat in style at the moment

- you feel it is acceptable to only wash your hair every 3 days

- you can't remember the last time you wore a bra with underwire

- you change into nice PJs before The Husband comes home so you look better for him

- you randomly text your friends cute pictures of the kid, and resist posting them all on Facebook so you are not "that annoying Mom"

- you can count the number of times you have applied makeup in the last month on one hand

- you have no less than 3 things that baby can sit or lay on in the living room right now

- when you go shopping, you come home with stuff for the baby, not you

- a solo trip to the grocery store feels almost as good as going to get a pedi used to - seriously I go to sonic on the way to the grocery store and get myself a Diet Cherry Coke and relish the alone time to food shop, a task which I used to hate

- you may or may not brush your teeth before noon everyday

- you text your Mom friends questions about stuff like naps and the number of bottles they have, instead of stuff about shoes and meeting up for happy hour

- you forget that other humans have not been awake for hours already at 7:30 am and when you call them, you wake them up - really this mostly applies to my Mom, who doesn't work, and usually gets a morning call from me where I let the baby "talk" to her

- walking to get the mail everyday is practically the highlight, and considered an "outing" - especially fun if you get a present in the mail.  And by present I mean crap you ordered online because you are stuck in the house because the weather sucks and you don't want to take the baby outside

Seriously, a small part of me is looking forward to going back to work just so I can put on heels, makeup and cute clothes.  And go to Starbucks in the morning.  And wear a real bra.  And bleach my teeth again - something you can't do while breastfeeding.  And maybe spray tan, because that was questionable while I was preggo and I am feeling really pale.

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